While walking along the sea, I got an impulse.
I wanted to do something with my hair, as the chemotherapy was inevitable. I would loose my hair anyway. I wanted to do something with it myself, before it happens.
I met Aija Ūdentiņa, whom I discovered is not only an outstanding master, but also an incredibly considerate person to talk to. Aija allowed me to feel myself in different looks that I would hardly have dared to in other circumstances, and to experience all kinds of emotions, both going back to the past and taking steps where I never thought I would go.
In these episodes, shot between my surgery and the course of chemotherapy, Aija is cutting my hair and we talk.
Episode 1
It is time to say good-bye 56 min.
Our first acquaintance, conversations about appearance. Aija reveals her observations about people’s desire to emphasize important life changes with changing their hairstyles. Haircut - kare. Kare has been my basic cut most of my childhood. This choice – a symbolic return to childhood, a new starting point. Recording 27/04/2020.
Episode 2
Zināms nemiers 42 min.
Conversations about femininity. Lots of moments of silence. Haircut – bowl. One of my childhood haircuts, which made many often confuse me for a boy. Call it my trauma that I look straight in the eyes this time. Recording 27/04/2020.
Episode 3
No need to hide anything 47 min.
I finally revealed to Aija everything that had happened to me. I would tell about the diagnosis, the surgery and my thoughts before the upcoming chemotherapy. About how my children perceive the disease. Cut - short pixie. The haircut that made me feel like a little boy when I was a teenager. Recording 28/04/2020.
Episode 4
Well, it’s also not bad 15 min.
I’m crying and laughing. I break down, not due to the lost hair, but in the face of the inevitable reality and my fears. Haircut – 9 mm. I will have this haircut for the first time in my life. My preparation for chemotherapy-induced alopecia. Recording 28/04/2020.
My first meeting with Aija after recovery.
Episode 5
A year later 53 min.
Our first meeting now, when I have hair again. I’ve experienced so much during this time and I want to say a lot. I am a bit anxious. Haircut – a year later. Recording 07/04/2021.